[ there's a little burst of frustration at that, accompanied by more guilt for reacting that way... but that also sort of helps pull him back out of the memory before he can be dragged too deeply back into it, having something outside of it to react to.
and the fact that richie obviously understands what he was implying means he doesn't actually have to say it, which is a blessing. he can just skip right over all those awful details. ]
...But. Yeah. After that, I rushed the thing with a bloody nail file and it killed me. Reckon the same happened to the other two after that.
[It's just the horror of it all. That he had to go through it at all, whether it was in Derry or anywhere else. To then hear that they died, well...after the last couple trips maybe he should expect that.
It still hurts. Imagining it. Wondering how it was done, when they came back in such wretched condition.]
...But that wasn't the end, was it? You changed — when you came back to your normal selves, it looked like you'd all been shot.
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Richie's jaw tenses at the mention. Yeah, inevitably, there would be the fucking clown.]
He's a real piece of work, yeah. Loves nothing more than fucking with you.
[But oh.
The way his stomach keeps finding new lows to drop to. Richie's awash in dread, horrified sorrow.]
You don't mean... [but he does. Of course he does, he can feel it rolling off him in waves.] Oh god. Fidelio, I'm sorry. Jesus god, I'm sorry...
no subject
[ there's a little burst of frustration at that, accompanied by more guilt for reacting that way... but that also sort of helps pull him back out of the memory before he can be dragged too deeply back into it, having something outside of it to react to.
and the fact that richie obviously understands what he was implying means he doesn't actually have to say it, which is a blessing. he can just skip right over all those awful details. ]
...But. Yeah. After that, I rushed the thing with a bloody nail file and it killed me. Reckon the same happened to the other two after that.
no subject
[It's just the horror of it all. That he had to go through it at all, whether it was in Derry or anywhere else. To then hear that they died, well...after the last couple trips maybe he should expect that.
It still hurts. Imagining it. Wondering how it was done, when they came back in such wretched condition.]
...But that wasn't the end, was it? You changed — when you came back to your normal selves, it looked like you'd all been shot.