[ oof, some sweaty stress vibes at that last part... confirmation that he actually wasn't insane for sitting outside the bathroom door while bax was in there after that incident. ]
...Yeah, sounds right. We all also saw that bloody clown in different contexts — or I guess maybe it was just hearing for one of 'em, but. It was all just real unnerving.
[ ... ]
Spent the whole time scared out of my mind for that world's version of Bas.
[ even just the echoes of the fear he'd felt back then are strong enough that they're difficult to keep under control even now... and that quiet current of grief in the background is getting a lot stronger the further he gets into this recollection. ]
Which... well. As you might expect, turned out to be justified.
[ there's a little burst of frustration at that, accompanied by more guilt for reacting that way... but that also sort of helps pull him back out of the memory before he can be dragged too deeply back into it, having something outside of it to react to.
and the fact that richie obviously understands what he was implying means he doesn't actually have to say it, which is a blessing. he can just skip right over all those awful details. ]
...But. Yeah. After that, I rushed the thing with a bloody nail file and it killed me. Reckon the same happened to the other two after that.
[It's just the horror of it all. That he had to go through it at all, whether it was in Derry or anywhere else. To then hear that they died, well...after the last couple trips maybe he should expect that.
It still hurts. Imagining it. Wondering how it was done, when they came back in such wretched condition.]
...But that wasn't the end, was it? You changed — when you came back to your normal selves, it looked like you'd all been shot.
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no subject
...Yeah, sounds right. We all also saw that bloody clown in different contexts — or I guess maybe it was just hearing for one of 'em, but. It was all just real unnerving.
[ ... ]
Spent the whole time scared out of my mind for that world's version of Bas.
[ even just the echoes of the fear he'd felt back then are strong enough that they're difficult to keep under control even now... and that quiet current of grief in the background is getting a lot stronger the further he gets into this recollection. ]
Which... well. As you might expect, turned out to be justified.
no subject
Richie's jaw tenses at the mention. Yeah, inevitably, there would be the fucking clown.]
He's a real piece of work, yeah. Loves nothing more than fucking with you.
[But oh.
The way his stomach keeps finding new lows to drop to. Richie's awash in dread, horrified sorrow.]
You don't mean... [but he does. Of course he does, he can feel it rolling off him in waves.] Oh god. Fidelio, I'm sorry. Jesus god, I'm sorry...
no subject
[ there's a little burst of frustration at that, accompanied by more guilt for reacting that way... but that also sort of helps pull him back out of the memory before he can be dragged too deeply back into it, having something outside of it to react to.
and the fact that richie obviously understands what he was implying means he doesn't actually have to say it, which is a blessing. he can just skip right over all those awful details. ]
...But. Yeah. After that, I rushed the thing with a bloody nail file and it killed me. Reckon the same happened to the other two after that.
no subject
[It's just the horror of it all. That he had to go through it at all, whether it was in Derry or anywhere else. To then hear that they died, well...after the last couple trips maybe he should expect that.
It still hurts. Imagining it. Wondering how it was done, when they came back in such wretched condition.]
...But that wasn't the end, was it? You changed — when you came back to your normal selves, it looked like you'd all been shot.