I guess I didn't confess right away because first I'd have to face what I had done. No matter if I was possessed or not or whatever, first I'd have to accept I had actually killed.

[The longer the trial went and he had to confront more and more his actions, the more he had to accept he murdered. That sucked.

His immensely cooperative behavior with the strip search and the hand comparisons and everything else were, on some level, a sign of acceptance. How else can one explain he doing such counterproductive moves without nary a resistance, he thinks]